Rollercoaster

What a whirlwind of a ride. So much has happened over a short amount of time, and that’s the reason for my absence. In a lot of ways, it feels as though a year has gone by in the last three weeks.

Like so many other posts before this one, I’ve often hinted to the idea of, “there’s no such thing as accidents/coincidences.”

Everything happens for a reason.

Some believe this idea to be truth. Others, do not. That’s neither here nor there for the moment, really.

I, for one, (take it or leave it) do not believe in coincidences. And it’s more than fine if you do. It’s all good 🙂

I can only speak from personal experiences… moving on.

I haven’t left my home for more than an hour, since early March. At least 23 hours a day at the ol’ homestead. No big deal. For an introvert, this is a piece of cake. For someone who loves writing, it’s a dream. Before that time, I was never big on large social gatherings to begin with. I have always preferred the small intimate group settings.

Board games. The movie theater with close friends… maybe once a month, if our schedules aligned. Campfire chats in the backyard. I don’t go to bars, or clubs, or sporting events. I’m not big on restaurants and spending a bunch of money on food. I loath the idea of visiting any super store.

Not for me.

To some, I’m quite possibly the most boring person alive.

Then toss in the fact I don’t watch TV, the news, have no clue what the numbers are, or the statistics, or what the celebrities and personalities are saying, or spending any time online sucked into social media arguments.

Not for me.

I will admit to some online gaming on a Saturday morning while scarfing down some waffles and coffee. Zero shame.

I’ve learned some interesting things about myself since early March, but before I get into that, I have to go back to February.

This past winter was a struggle. The house we rent is old, and drafty. A nightmare to heat.

A space heater in the kitchen sitting in an open cupboard to prevent pipes from freezing. Another heater on the second floor near the bedrooms. The furnace running non-stop. Increasing electricity expenses, fuel… etc.

We bleed money in the winter. Add Christmas to the mix and boy howdy…

When February began, I had a casual conversation with my wife. She told me straight up, “I don’t want to spend another winter at this house.”

I agreed. She didn’t even need to explain herself… and we moved forward with our day.

My wife, who just loooooooves to window shop, started looking at rental opportunities online for our area. I never thought I would be in a position in life to ever purchase a home. I’ve always been a decent tenant, and I typically stick to the devils I know.

And not long after that, the idea eventually fizzled away into the ether, and we didn’t speak on it again. Everything returned to the “old normal.”

I should have latched onto that idea like my gut told me to, and ran with it as far as I could and never looked back. I would’ve been able to have been ahead of the event. I see that now. I would have had the advantage of some additional time on my side. Instead of acting on that instinct, I ignored the gut feeling, and got comfortable again.

I’ve taught myself never to be completely comfortable, but on this one, I almost blew it. It was too close for comfort.

The current reasons for the paradigm shift (the events that led to today), are not important. Life for me, is about action and reaction. Acting and reacting. Adapting or quitting. It’s been like that since just out of high school. For twenty-six years, I can say with utmost confidence, I was flying by the seat of my pants upon a wing and a prayer. I had no clue what life had in store. I had no destination. No solid foundation in life, other than always trying to do the best thing I could for my children. And… always questioning if I was actually doing my best.

Can you do better…?

Nope…

I can only do, what I can do, while existing inside my reality. No more, no less.

February of this year was the source of a subtle clue, which I had decided to ignore. The singularity I was blind to. Something was trying to show me what I needed in my life. Not what I wanted in life, but what I needed.

Then, early March happened. The world catastrophe occurred, and Earth changed. Everything changed. Life radically altered.

I adapted to the catastrophe, and continued to do my best within the new reality. Still being the best provider I could be. Never being stressed or afraid. Attempting to be a positive influence to the few around me.

Then a hand delivered notice to quit, at the height of a pandemic.

The reason for the 60 day eviction is not important.

You should have seen this coming.

But what to do? Two months is not an easy feat for relocation, during a world-wide crisis, after almost 9 years of living in the same place. With a dog……….

Adapt or quit.

Organize a plan, then create a plan B… have a plan C just in case, and then execute. Don’t let it beat you.

Don’t let anything beat you.

Initially, while the panic started rising, I was a bit overwhelmed and lost. Blaming external forces out of my control. Pacing. Dredging up anger and looking for a way to express it.

A little dizzy and woozy.

It was a lot to handle.

I then reached out into my community, family, and friends. Those things in life that should be the most important.

Then, as if all these little guardian angels started appearing, I found the assistance I was needing to point me in the right direction. Even from unexpected sources. I was able to then narrow my focus into a pin point. Everything which I deemed unnecessary for my reality, was pushed far to the way side and vanished.

I was in self-preservation mode, but found a way to turn the negative into a positive. I had to continue to somehow project good energy into the world and be myself, regardless of the situation, for those people around me.

Take it on the cheek, smile, and then find a way to fix it. Not be angry with that which I cannot control. What’s the point?

All bruises fade and heal, but they do sting at first. I’ve had my fair share.

If you take away anything from this–please, just do your best to make every–single–negative–a positive. I’m begging you. Even if you think it’s impossible… it can be possible.

I went under contract for a home loan, 8 days after the notice.

I listened to my gut, weighed all possible options, and made a decision to never rent again.

I now had a new possible foundation from which to build. The old foundation was crumbling under my feet and I was watching it happen before my eyes. Be positive, be positive, nothing’s concrete and etched in stone yet. This is just the beginning. Everything is happening for a reason. Be calm. Relax. Utilize the time you have. No–need–to–panic!

Today, I’m waiting for loan approval.

Hoping to close on July 2nd.

At least a third of the house is packed and I have everything timed to specific days of execution. If the plan is altered in any way, I have some contingencies ready. And this time, despite the craziness involved in the process, I welcome it all with open arms.

Once I’m able to unlock that door, and drop the first box on the floor, my reality will change once again.

But my focuses haven’t, and never will. I have specific goals in life and I will continue to pursue those goals.

Once we’re settled into the new “digs”, its time to complete the novel. I’ll have an office space for the first time in my life. Just some editing to finish, and then reconnecting with the artist.

And once I’ve released the book into the wild, that will be two things scratched off my bucket list.

If you ever come to believe that “it can’t be done” or “it’s impossible” those thoughts will manifest into reality. However, you may just surprise yourself if you try. I’m still pinching my hand to see if this is an illusion.

If I can do it, anyone can.

Thank you for reading and joining me on my journey. Please subscribe in the provided area to receive a notification of new posts by email or feel free to follow me on Twitter @jeremymorangPlease give this a like if you like it, share with others, or leave a comment if you wish. See you at the next one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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