I’m not much of a complainer. I like my life.
Though never easy, I can say I did ok with what I was given. I make decent lemonade from bitter lemons.
I snatched up opportunities as I saw them, harmed no one along the way, and transformed negatives into solid positives. What’s the sense in complaining? Serves no practical purpose. Being angry at that, which I cannot control?
What’s the point?
Just personal energy projected in the wrong direction.
I need my energy.
I have people who rely on me.
I refuse to allow any parasitical, modern day vampires, to drain my life force and kill my spirit.
However… sometimes I can get a little down in the dumps. Today, was one of those days.
I always bounce back. No worries there. That level-headed thinking, and breathing, always gets me out of a jam. Once I’m regrounded to the Earth, I can seem to turn it all around for the better.
Since graduating from the local school of hard-knocks I always seem to manage fairly, through difficult times. I suppose it’s one of my subtle super powers.
We all have a super power. Mine just happens to be the ability to get flushed down a toilet, and come out the other side feeling pretty good.
I’ll take it.
Something had been bugging me all day and got me bummed out. A little splinter I couldn’t dig from my mind. No matter how much I focused, I couldn’t locate the irritation to remove it. I knew it was there, but I couldn’t find it. I couldn’t even scratch at it.
It festered, and spread, and around lunch time, I found myself stuck in a traffic jam.
The endless line of cars, added fuel to the growing fire inside my head.
I was frustrated to no end, yet, couldn’t put my finger on it. I live in Maine. Traffic jams, long lines, and road construction is part of the true “Mainah” experience.
When I returned home, the internet was out.
The bills are all paid… just… no interwebs to explore, and work with.
Must be something on their end.
That didn’t help my problem one bit.
I took Zoey out for a neighborhood stroll, and when I got back to the lair, the splinter extracted itself all on its own, and once it was gone, everything fell into place and the bulb flashed back on.
The fog lifted and I was able to think clearly again.
Not having access to the internet, provided a handful of choices: Chores, watching DVD’s, a solo drive, yardwork, nothing at all, another walk, taking a nap, or, opening one of the various folders on my desktop and revisiting other projects. Projects, which didn’t require the internet.
The sequel folder, smack dab in the middle of the screen, stood out like a flashing neon sign, and begged me for attention.
Now, those who are familiar with some of my blog posts of the past (and perhaps those few who are close to me), I’m one of those morons who looks for symbols, and numerology. Signs, hints, clues, and dots of light blinking within the dark areas. I actively seek the lighthouses among the storms. I find my focus drawn to these life “clues” and make attempts to interpret them in a manner of my choosing.
Just a silly thing I do.
When the sequel started whispering, I listened.
When it started screaming at me, I opened it up.
Once I hit page thirty of Volume II, my eyes snapped open wide, my stomach fluttered, and I found that thing I was looking for. The source of the splinter. One, teeny, tiny, trivial item which needed to be rectified.
But, if you change it… lots will then have to change.
Awesome. Let’s do this shit.
Time to kill some darlings again.
I worked through the sequel for a time, about 90 minutes, and now, I feel better. Those problem areas, and tweaks, will be an ongoing process until I feel 100% confident, but as always, it’ll be work worth doing. In order to stay with the flow and tone of the Surrender Game, those little changes are a must.
When I reached that comfy spot within the process, I exhaled hard, hit the save button, reclined in the lair chair, and closed my eyes.
When my notifications started rattling off, one after another, that weird fluttering returned.
The internet fired back to life. Right on cue…
As if it was waiting patiently for me to finish, before allowing me access.
Probably nothing to look into, too deeply. Completely random occurrence.
Or, perhaps some strange entity was hovering around, to help me figure it all out, and guide me in the right direction.
(shrug) Probably random happenstance… but damn sure fun to think about sometimes.
That’s all in the tank for now.
Be well. Chat soon.
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