“Every day a new deception. Pick your scene and take direction.
And all in all I search to connect, but I don’t wear a mask, and I have no regrets.” Shinedown
Often, as of late, I’m asked unexpected questions, and I find myself brought into conversations with which I was not prepared. It’s my own fault.
“Jere, what do you think about “this” situation?”
“I don’t have an opinion on the topic.”
“Well, what about “this?”
“Well, you have to have an opinion.”
My interests and goals don’t allow me a moments rest anymore. I’m moving at a hundred miles an hour now, every second I’m awake. When I do allow an opportunity to step away, slow down, and collect my thoughts, momentarily diverging from the task at hand, I find myself wondering why I’d choose to indulge in something else, that quite frankly has no meaning to my life. Idle time, has become a detriment to my state of mind.
Why are you pretending to enjoy something you no longer enjoy, and be something you’re not?
I have no idea.
Well… get off your ass and do something about it. MOVE!!
This is the way I have to be. If I don’t maintain this mindset, I won’t complete my mission.
“Jere, you’re going to burn out. You’re going to get sick. You need to stop and smell the roses. You need to, you need to, you need to…”
I’ve never felt better in my life.
And one of the reasons I feel so good, is I continue to be myself.
And I’m at peace.
I’ve mapped out a crude timeline which indicates I must undergo a new beginning, roughly every 8 years. Whether it’s a spiritual metamorphosis, an emotional transformation, a specific calamity forcing a new paradigm that radically alters the brain chemistry. A change in perspectives. My own personal evolutionary cycle occurs about 8 or 9 years apart. I won’t bore anyone with the details, but on paper, when I put a ton of thought into it, it “appears” to be this way. Right or wrong, this was my observation.
I’m smack dab right in the middle of a cycle as we speak.
The only way I could muscle through, and adapt to the new beginning(s), was to be who I am right at my core. Never be afraid. Stand up and face it. Take a few punches, turn the cheek, and smile back. Don’t show weakness. Find a solution. Research, research, research, read, read, read. Apply the knowledge and keep learning. Educate myself.
Never stop growing.
Over the last 2 months, I’ve learned some valuable lessons. Lessons which only truly benefit and pertain to me, but I have no qualms sharing. As with everything else I write in here, folks can either take it or leave it.
I created this thing in my mind and I’ve given it the name, “the three rings.”
The inner, smallest ring. The “bullseye” if you will, is my family. Daughters, Nancy, living relatives, sibling, extended family, step-parents. I’ll do anything for them within my God given power. No doubt about it.
The next ring, surrounding the bullseye, is: work, friends, community, priorities. Day to day living.
The third, outer ring, is all static and noise.
I don’t pay attention to the noise. It serves me no purpose. I have to always focus on the bullseye, every second of every day. Literally (and I mean literally) everything I do in my life is centered on my family and that inner ring.
My closest of friends are among that inner ring, and they know who they are.
But, anything outside the second ring… I just–don’t–pay–attention to it. Or, I’m privy to juuuuuust enough to say, “yup, I am aware of what is transpiring.”
“Oh, you have to pay attention. You need to be informed. You have to look at this program, and read this article, listen to what this person is saying, and what this new study suggests, and focus on what this celebrity and politician is Tweeting about. No, don’t follow “that person”. They don’t know anything, look into “this person” instead. You have to know what’s going on.”
The lessons I’ve learned recently, is determining what is truly important in my life, and exactly those things I can live without.
Anything outside the first and second ring, projects itself as nothing but loud noise to me.
When we have the ability and determination to block out the noise, it’s possible to find real peace.
I can’t be at peace, among all that racket.
I am happy to announce, to those folks who’re interested and have been sticking by me on the journey, July 18th will be the 2 year anniversary of the day I finished my science fiction novel. I believe it was the second draft at the time. Non-stop work every day since then.
Almost 2 years later, the final stretch of edits are underway. I’m curious if July 18th means… nah. Moving on.
I never been much on marketing myself. It’s an area that feels a bit alien to be honest. Pride has always been a one way street for me. I’m proud of my children. I’m proud of my friends, my wife, my co-workers. But pride in myself has always seemed foreign. I’m just doing what I love to do.
I do take some pride in one idea. I’ve been informed when all is said and done, I may have a novel that Elizabeth Moon and David Weber fans will really enjoy. Just the idea of that seems like an out of body experience. Thinking back to when this adventure first started, I never in a trillion years would have thought I’d be here. Its surreal to the point of pinching my hand to see if its all a dream.
July 2nd I’m hoping to close on my house. Lots of stuff happening.
Just an update on that front.
It won’t be easy, but all in all, a new beginning isn’t all that bad. This phase of my evolutionary process, is one I’m very much looking forward to.
Thank you for reading and joining me on my journey. Please subscribe in the provided area to receive a notification of new posts by email or feel free to follow me on Twitter @jeremymorang. Please give this a like if you like it, share with others, or leave a comment if you wish. See you at the next one.