Disconnect

“Nothing ’bout me is ordinary. My friends all say I’m going crazy. I don’t hear a word that they say.”—Shinedown

 

I go through periods of time where I have to separate myself fully from social media and mainstream everything. Sometimes upwards of a week or longer, before I’ll open it back up and take a look-see again. I’ll get the random urge to briefly inspect what the surface dwellers are up to, and then quickly bail out.

Typically, its more of the same thing which I saw a week earlier. Nothing new under the sun.

During my morning coffee, I’ll scroll for a few minutes and check out what madness is available for my eyes and mind to feast upon, but I’m not in there long. At my job, I’m the Facebook administrator, so my social media presence is mandatory, but I never stay for a lengthy visit. I mostly restrict myself now to message responses, tags, requests, and engaging in personal conversations, check out the patterns and trends, post a silly meme if I feel the need to get someone laughing, support those close to me… but as far as I’m concerned, social media is a cesspool.

So much arguing and fighting. Exclamation points, and words in all caps to prove a point. Barking, screaming, noise, and rampant negativity. Trolls, slander, insult slinging, and trying to convince cat people that dogs are the superior pet. Bellowing at random strangers trapped inside the vast darkness of the online echo chamber.

I have to disconnect.

Unplug from the matrix and divert attention elsewhere.

Unplugging, has been an interesting journey thus far. I used to have the “fear of missing out” and “not being informed” but not anymore. When intentionally depriving oneself of the designed constructs that supposedly defines who we are, and how we should exist within the great collective, and what we should be paying attention to based on what is deemed through institutional conformity as important, life changes.

Three years ago, I was “me”.

The me I thought I was supposed to be.

Today… I’m an entirely different “me”.

A better version of me.

A me I never thought I would become.

Perhaps in two years I’ll become a different me, again. I’ll have to wait and see. All I can continue to do, is be myself and hope for the best.

I have to be productive at all times. If I slow down, I fall back into those traps and snares which are designed to keep me down, docile, hypnotized, complacent, compliant, and vegetative.

Just the way they want me.

I looked back on the past twenty years or so of my life, and came to a startling realization… I have wasted years (literal years) of my existence.

“But, but, but, if not for those experiences, you wouldn’t be…”

Yeah, I get the argument. I’ve had the conversation multiple times.

I’ve been working on my man cave in the basement. Years ago I told my wife she can have every room in the house. Every counter, shelf, end table, cupboard, nook and cranny, closet and open space we have available in the home. I’ve become a minimalist, so “stuff” isn’t important to me anymore.

The kitchen table, however, is mine. I only need a small area.

Now, that her stuff has slowly migrated to my area (God love her)… to the basement I go.

It’s coming along. A little more junk to toss, and some wood products that need to find a burn pile, a little rearranging will be in order. The insulation is almost done. It’s heated and has good lighting. My workstation is almost complete.

Because I no longer engage in those activities which once defined who I was, I now have tons of time to use at my discretion. I created time, where time never existed before. I watch less than four hours of television programming a week and two of those hours are falling asleep to re-runs of funny shows I’ve already seen. My current unbreakable TV addictions are: Survivor, and the Star Trek franchise. I pay for two streaming services primarily for my wife and daughter.

I no longer “binge” anything, unless I’m under the weather and laid up. I can’t recall how many shows I’ve abandoned over the years, shows I was once in love with, and I haven’t been to the movies since John Wick 3 premiered. The only video game I play is a tower defense on my phone and I only play when running into a brick wall, hitting a mental block, or finding myself at a standstill. I couldn’t tell you the name of any new band formed over the past year, or the name of the next big up-and-coming celebrity.

What to do when no longer engaging in those things which once defined who I was. Those things that once made me, “me”.

Everything.

Anything and everything. There is no limit. I rejected the reality presented, and I constructed my own, from the ground up.

I believe we are designed to create, tinker, philosophize, invent, and make things. To use our minds constructively. Even if we struggle at first, we only get better with time.

I strive now to create. To make my own entertainment. Rewrite my reality to better suit my goals.

We have the literal ability to transform thoughts into reality. We can think it… and it will manifest. However, if we voluntarily continue to constantly relinquish our power, and stay plugged into the construct, thoughts remain as nothing but thoughts. While thoughts are important… they stay confined within the brain.

My laptop is blanketed with folders. Poetry, blurbs, short stories, timelines, outlines, downloaded PDF’s, images of art, full length novels with free companion stories, names and bloodlines, links, blog posts, sections of edits, device and technology research, silly songs, screen plays, fragments of unfinished works, ideas ongoing, ideas discontinued and untouched for years, maps made in simple paint programs…

And that’s where I live.

When I’m not writing, I strive to grow in other arenas. I read, ask questions, and do research in my areas of interest. My interests have expanded to other realms now, hence the reason for a workstation in the basement. I want to physically create, as well as write.

I want to make things.

I enjoy transforming thoughts into reality. I love watching my mind manifest something before my eyes.

The downside is, I’m an idiot. I have to rely on others sometimes. I’m a stranger in a strange land solely depending on the village to raise me, the child. Research is long. Self-education is a chore. Waiting is difficult. Asking questions and applying the knowledge, can be tedious. Many diverse answers and many opinions. Self discernment is crucial.

However, it’s not the endgame and outcome of the journey that’s important, it’s the growth along the way.  The outcome is just a perk, and the tasty icing on the cake. The adventure is the most important.

And I believe that’s where folks get tripped up. The adventure looks difficult and daunting to the tired mind.

Some of that education and research along the way includes what I should be doing along this leg of the creative journey. Because I’m currently in “this” phase of the writing process, I should be talking about “this” topic. Or, discuss the writing procedure and the step-by-step method to get from point A to point Z.

“Make this content a part of your blog.”

Not gonna happen. In my world, you’ll never read about grammar rules or the difference between a pantser and a plotter or a line and a copy edit.  I’ll leave that to the pros. I just like telling stories. That’s the source of the entertainment in my mind. That’s where the fun is.

Writing the story is easy. One word at a time. Finish.

Once committed to the story, and finally typing “the end” (regardless of the length) it’s far from over. Everything after “the end” becomes work.

Lots, and lots, and lots of work. Patience. Timing.

But is it work worth doing?

Is patience truly a virtue? Is the timing going to work?

Yes.

For myself, and myself only, in order to stay committed to my cause, I had to find time to do the work I believed was worth doing. To find time, meant changing how I engage within a pre-designed reality.

The old paradigm was not fulfilling. I felt empty. Lost. Broken. Fearful. Anxiety ravaged. Bouts of depression and hopelessness. Tired. Sedentary. Stagnant. Off-balance.

Altering the paradigm, altered reality.

I no longer have anxiety, stress, hopelessness, anger, depression or fear of any kind. I’m no longer tired, stagnant, or sedentary. I’m no longer empty, broken and lost. It’s not easy to disconnect, but since unplugging, I’ve become better.

Because I’m waiting on edits, I needed another outlet, other than my blog stuff and tinkering with ongoing projects… So… I’m off to the basement for today. It’s time to finish the cave, create something at the workstation which has always fascinated me… and I can’t wait to see the end result.

Thank you for reading Tales of the Chronicles and joining me on my journey. Please subscribe in the provided area to receive a notification of new posts by email or feel free to follow me on Twitter @jeremymorang. Please give this a like if you like it, share with others, or leave a comment if you wish. See you at the next one.